What prompts change?
For all of us that trigger is different, myself, to lose these excess 50-pounds I have been carrying around for years was being told that at 35 years of age my good cholesterol was higher than it should have been. Excuse me? I thought all was ok! I guess not, and so began the path to losing the weight.
However, this change I am talking about now came about in a very different manner – this time it was a dream I had, one that was more vivid than one I could have ever fathomed. Have you ever had a dream like that? Maybe, maybe not, but this one rocked me to my very core. Let me tell you all about it and then we can work to dissect it together; this dream came to me when I was sleeping in on a Saturday morning, just a random Saturday, nothing prompting it and nothing happening in my life outside of the normal stressors of our budget hanging over my head. So as I slept I saw in my mind a very vivid picture of myself being “sold” to a guy to become one of his wives, yes I said it, multiple wives, like a sister-wives sort of scenario. I was less than happy about it, obviously, as I am currently happily married to my soul mate and father of my two beautiful children. So I was fighting against the whole thing, because it was not only me who was “sold” into this bondage type scenario it was my children as well. And, in order for me to feel somewhat at home this man who was to be my new husband decided to take us all to a Wal-Mart to buy gifts for my kids. Only the Wal-Mart was more of a Sam’s Club meets Home Depot meets a Best Buy type of place. And, the oddest part was that we could not be seen, for some odd reason he wanted us all to hide and not be seen. So he offers to buy my daughter ‘Frozen’ and my son a gaming system, so off we go.
However, because I am not happy in this situation I know I need to find a way to escape. I know there has to be a way to escape this situation, and low and behold while I am perusing through this store like environment my real husband grabs a hold of me and the kids and we run – we run like there is no tomorrow – escaping through a back room and out into an alley. We are surrounded by absolute darkness and cannot see much outside of the lights of televisions and various storage room lights which are minimal. I am guessing at some point this man figures out I’ve run with the kids and he alerts the police and we have them chasing us as well. We somehow manage to get away from all of them – ironically enough in the backstage chaos that is a Nickelback concert – we find a way to blend in and have a meet and greet with the band – this is a very big dream of mine, I have always said I would willingly give my left arm to meet Chad Kroeger and the rest of Nickelback. ..so I guess to have that chance if only in a dream is enough for now.
This is where the dream gets weird – we manage to escape fully after the meet and greet a couple of songs and the rest of the concert and end-up living in London, England. No real true to form idea of how we got there or why we were in London, but I will say our flat was on the top floor of a white building with access to a rooftop porch with a greenhouse (something else I am longing for), three bedrooms, a fully stocked kitchen and fully furnished flat. We seem to have been completely set-up to live there permanently but I couldn’t help but feel it was only temporary. While cruising through this new flat I found that there was a teapot, a coffee pot, and a beautiful area to just be. We could see Parliament and Buckingham Palace and the rest of London from the rooftop porch. It was such a magnificent and amazing view, it looked almost like a post-card, the life of London on the streets below us, the river, and the rest of the city at our disposal, and all the while I felt excitement and peace all rolled into one. I had no idea of what our purpose there was but I felt at peace. I saw us going grocery shopping and navigating our way around the city, learning the places to take the kids for dinner, school, and shopping. I could almost smell the salty air from the ocean, the rivers, and the lingering odor of something in the air that I could not pinpoint. The grocery store was a narrow little shop with rows and rows of brown floors and an abundance of items I had never heard of nor could I get a clear visual on what they were.
The second dream I had was a little simpler and it occurred the very next day – ironically enough another day I was able to just sleep in and be – this time however we were in our current home and my children were playing with Elephants – not full-sized elephants, no baby elephants. The strangest part of this however, was that both of the baby’s had a coating of an artificial looking white substance coating the tops of them. I could tell they were tame elephants and seemed to take the place of our two dogs Sadie and Nixon chasing the kids back and forth through my kitchen and tumbling around with them. The older adult Elephants were in my backyard with the same artificial white coating on the top of them, I have no idea of how they got there or why they had appeared in my dream. What makes it even stranger is that when I went out back with the kids and the baby elephants a woman from our water company was there and shut off the water, only when she reached down to turn off the pipe, which is normally located in our front yard, she pulled from the ground a whole other house; while dilapidated and falling apart it was a white wood house with two levels and looked like it could have been there for over a century. I looked around me and saw my neighbors with the same blank-awe style expression on their faces trying their hardest to figure out what was happening.
So let us take some time to dissect these – any input would be helpful.
But the escaping from the bondage of the artificial marriage means escaping from a situation I am no longer suited for and meant to get on with a larger better life – which is why the move to London – time to start over on a new life and get situated in a new career path and or life path. The elephants represent riches, wealth and riding an elephant means power. Seeing as how I was not the one interacting directly with them I have to say that the kids will be the influence and means to which we may accomplish our goal of moving forward and financial security…then again I really do not want to do that to them so I am at a total loss here.
All of those Buzzfeed-type personality quizzes have pointed to me being in some form of creative career path, and I have had several people close to me, namely my mother and one of my oldest friends tell me that maybe I should think about writing a book – while I am not one hundred percent on board with that idea, its has been something weighing heavily on my mind all weekend. Who knows I may have a story to tell, afterall I did publish our weekly budgets for a year and discuss various means of saving money, moving funds around to pay the bills and how we managed to get by in this economy. No we are not wealthy, no we never will be, our main goal has always been to be financially comfortable, so who knows maybe writing a book will launch something bigger than myself and the current career path I am on. Need to think about it some more though.