Overcoming Challenges and Trying to Re-Start a Stalled Engine

Wish I had something profound to say, but I don’t – my Mother is always telling me that I am just the Queen of overcoming obstacles and facing the odds straight on – but this one I just haven’t got the courage to do so – mailing those letters I worked so very hard on to get ready, got feedback on, and have formatted for printing I just cannot muster the courage to mail out…my anxiety of a possible rejection or being ignored (which is one of my biggest pet peeves) is just causing a major roadblock.  Why is is that I can face a bill collector head on and formulate a plan to face the problem head on – but this time I can’t?? Why is this the case? What am I so afraid of?  I cannot even begin to guess, so I won’t…

So I’ve stalled yet another with yet another endeavor I have tried to begin – I want this I truly do – but I am scared – there I said it! I am scared out of my ever loving mind of the changes it will bring – I am freaking out of the possibility of moving to one of the three major cities publishers/agents/scouts work out of, Chicago, New York, and San Francisco – yet when I close my eyes and sleep my dreams consist of living overseas in France – why I have zero clue – I dream of big houses and new places, exotic places – this is all places and homes my subconscious is dredging up while I sleep…I don’t get it.  I know consciously we’ll never have that – our lives are a constant push down – so yup I don’t see how those dreams are reality.  The very idea of living in a city away from the coast line scares the crap out of me – the idea of leaving my beautiful Wilmington scares me to no end – we’re settled here, my kids doctors and therapists are here – they have friends here – so I guess I am inadvertently blocking any progress this change may bring…

So yeah that’s where I am at right now, still doing reviews which I’ve posted several of recently – thinking of doing a few more for books I’ve gotten for free to my Kindle that are independantly published or just to give myself some practice.

I am still researching the history of book publishing and Joseph Pulizter in my spare time from work and during my lunch hour – have some good information that once I have all collected I’ll try to condense into a short essay to be shared here…

That is all I have to say for this June 2nd – maybe, just maybe a month from now my hubby will have pulled me out of this funk and I can send those letters…we shall see…

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2 thoughts on “Overcoming Challenges and Trying to Re-Start a Stalled Engine

  1. Pingback: Week Ending 06.02.13 Budget, Not as Amusing as I’d have Liked… | Financial Lessons Learned; Trials and Tribulations

  2. Pingback: With a Little Push and Priming the Engine Can Be Re-Started… | ncreadergirl

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