Nervousness is Equating to Chickening Out…

So I went through all the trouble of writing the letters, getting feedback, now I can’t bring myself to actually mail them…what is WRONG with me? I have anxiety issues, this I am aware, but why can’t I bring myself to do something seemingly anonymous like getting the letters ready, stuffing the envelopes and mailing them?  Yes, I am aware that nothing will get accomplished on this path if I don’t first take these baby steps forward…

Alright so maybe it’s a deep rooted fear of rejection?  Maybe it’s the very idea of doing what is nothing more than a ‘cold call’ that is scaring the ever loving you-know-what out of me?  Maybe that is what the problem is and why this process has just about stalled…the idea that now I have to actually move forward and do something about this move is jarring enough, never mind going and doing something HUGE like this!  What’s the worst they can say? No! We don’t have anyone willing to just talk?  Yup, I think that’s it…it’s that deep rooted fear of rejection that probably stemmed from two summers of doing nothing but making ‘cold calls’ – it’s right in line with my absolute 120% avoidance of the phone.  I am perfectly comfortable calling up my parents and my hubs, but I don’t have the gumption enough to pick up the phone and call a friend I haven’t talked to in months – I’d rather just send her a text message – if I can email you I will – call you – yeah not so much – what am I afraid of? No Friggin’ clue – there’s nothing to be scared of – in this case it’s just an envelope – or previously – it’s a PHONE! I have a cell phone, but it sits quiet because I can’t even bring myself to pick it up and call the Vet to ask about rabies clinics – nope I’ll ask my hubby to do that…

I can do this, I know I can…just have to make myself do it!

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